Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize