She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
