i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
