hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
