I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
