I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
