Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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