the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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