what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize