3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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