i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it glows. i had to have it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
