I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize