in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
