I've blown a few things in my day
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
