i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
