Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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