It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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