Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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