Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
