If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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