Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
