She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
