i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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