Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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