What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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