I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
