You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
