This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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