that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
