Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
