I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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