Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
