You made me cry and you don't even care
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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