She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
