One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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