I think im going to throw up on grandma
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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