I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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