so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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