So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
