After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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