I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
