The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
