Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
