ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
