Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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