What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
