Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize