But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
