Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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(614): View more from Ohio

just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.

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(979): View more from Texas

She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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(909): View more from California

The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

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(330): View more from Ohio

STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.

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(850): View more from Florida

My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

its liver damage thursday

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