i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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