The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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