He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
