the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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