need another drink. this is the easiest way
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
