I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I bet he comes in French.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
