try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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