Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
