Please, let me fuck your mom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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