can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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